Personal // Dannie & Rachel: Our Story

"Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one’s life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; perhaps it crept to one’s side like an old friend through quiet ways; perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music, perhaps . . . perhaps . . . love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from its green sheath." -L.M. Montgomery

I'd like to tell y'all a story. 

It's not a fairy tale. It's not even a happily ever after. The story still hasn't ended, but it's our story, so that's what makes it special.

It's the story of how two people met, didn't fall in love at first sight, but still ended up getting married and being pretty darn happy (with the occasional rough spots- no one's perfect). Yeah, that's right, Dannie and I disliked each other long before we ever fall in love. We were always "friends," but after we hit twelve that wasn't saying much. Friends talk to each other and write letters when one family moves to another state, so I'm using the word 'friends' lightly. 

We go way back. Our moms and dads were friends long before Dannie and I were ever born, so you could say it was inevitable that we'd be friends as well. I don't remember much before we were both ten (ish), but our moms like to tell the story of our first confrontation, or as I like to say, how we first "met." Dannie was a vicious biter when we were babies, and was always being mean by taking my toys- me, the defenseless baby girl against the bully of a boy six months older. For the longest time I tolerated it, and I wasn't a biter, until one day I had enough of his tormenting and toy-stealing, so I bit him on his lower back, probably as hard as I could, because my mom says I left deep impressions and a nasty mark. Honestly, even though I can't remember the incident, I don't regret it one bit, because after that he never bit me or took my toys again. So, if any of y'all are dealing with a bully in your life at this time, remember, sometimes all it takes is standing up to them, and they'll flee like the coward they are.

Skip ahead a few years and we were pretty good friends. Our families would get together on Friday nights for pizza and fun, and at that time there were 5 kids in Dannie's family, and 6 in mine (now there are 7 in Dannie's and 8 in mine). It was always a full house of rambunctious, rowdy kids (Dannie and his brother Ben were the instigators) playing Cowboys and Indians, hide-and-seek, board games (our favorite being Clue), and the like. We all got along pretty well, with the occasional spiff, that is until we started getting a little bit older. Eventually, with time, our siblings became merciless in their teasing, how Dannie and I would grow up and get married. It probably didn't help that Mr. Law talked about and hope for the same thing that all the kids teased us about, so maybe we can blame it on him (?) because it was probably his prayers that brought us together in the end. As a result of the constant teasing, I grew to hate the mere mention of Dannie's name. Not only was it embarrassing, but humiliating to say the least, because even though he was fun to play with, no way did I like him in any other way. He was obnoxious and annoying, and super immature. Even though we'd been friends since we were babies, I eventually grew distant because I didn't want anyone thinking that we if we were together then that meant I liked him. No way. 

But then there came a time when the teasing almost ceased. In the year 2007 my family and I moved to Georgia, and lived there for a little over 5 years. It was during those years that I had my first crush (or three), and all but forgot about Dannie except when his family came to visit a couple of times. He was then in his younger teenage years, and growing into manhood, so he was even more annoying than ever. Our siblings still teased, but I was glad there was hundreds of miles between us. There was a time, after we had been living in Georgia for a while, that Mrs. Law and the kids sent us some letters, pictures, and candy, so that meant we all had to write them back. Of course all the other kids were excited to respond to their friends, but not me. I didn't write or respond to Dannie's letter (that he consequently wrote to me and my sister Grace, but everyone said it was meant for me). You may think me rude, but I was adamant in my dislike for him, although it was probably deepened by all the talk and teasing from our siblings (and maybe even parents? [insert cough]).

(August 2015)

Then came October of 2011. My family and I went for a two week visit back to Indiana. While there we split the time staying at the homes of grandparents and Dannie's family instead of a hotel. Our families were always really close, so whenever either one would visit the other, we'd house the other and have a blast. It was during this time that Dannie had a girlfriend, and I remember quite clearly when hearing about it a year earlier being so relieved that finally the pressure would release, and I could stop worrying that I just might have to marry him after all.

 Little did I know that October of 2011 would be a turning point for me. 

(Summer/Fall 2011 // Dannie was crazy about playing paintball)

I remember the exact moment of seeing him for the first time in probably two years, if not a little longer than. He was almost 15 the last time I had seen him, but in 2011 he was 17 going on 18. He'd grown taller, filled out a bit, and his voice was different. He had terrible acne, but I didn't care about that, because after all, I'd gone through a lot myself during my teenage years, and still was (still am for that matter). I was nervous as we pulled into their drive out in the middle of nowhere Brown County, and I was really puzzled as to why. It was just nerves from not seeing our friends in forever was what I told myself.

Now, I don't believe in love at first sight. There's no such thing as love at first sight, because true love is real and deep and lasting, and how can you know that you'll stay with someone at first sight? See, no such thing, but there can definitely be interest at first sight. And I was interested just a little bit.

But you see, he had a girlfriend, so that meant I couldn't like him now! It wouldn't be right to try to break them up, but I was still pretty taken by him. After spending a week with his family I was really interested. Besides, he and his girlfriend were going through a rough patch, so honestly that kinda gave me hope, and little did I know that he broke it off with her before we even headed back to Georgia. During the last little bit of our stay I started to notice a change in him and the way he acted towards me. Our eyes would catch and hold for a second before I would blush and look away, or come up with a lame subject to talk about. We spent a lot of time together with our siblings, on hikes in the woods, to outside and inside games, and our usual competition of chess that we'd played ever since we first learned how. I went with him to feed their German Shepherds, and watched him split wood. We also had lots of deep conversations on life, and I even tried to help him with his girlfriend problems (I promise I tried). 

(October 2011 // walking in the woods)

Because of how we were raised (homeschooled, Conservative Christian, and advocates of courtship), coupled with the fact that I was always very shy and reserved, Dannie and I didn't talk about our feelings toward one another. For crying out loud, I wasn't even sure if he was developing the same feelings as I was or if it was all in my head! What gave me hope was the look in his eyes when our eyes would catch and hold, but even that wasn't enough evidence. His normal gentlemanly behavior, such as giving me his coat after paintball could've been him just being kind, but of course I hoped it meant more. I had never had a guy even like me before, so I didn't know what to do or think. I hoped Dannie liked me, but I just couldn't be sure. After our week with his family was up and we went to stay at our grandparents', I have to say I was pretty disappointed, not to mention emotional and wistful. I still had fun with both sides of the family, but all the while I couldn't help but wish I was spending time with Dannie.

On our last night in Indiana, my Grandma Brown had one last get together for everyone to say their goodbyes before we left early the next morning, so I had the great idea of asking if we could invite Dannie. My parents agreed (my mom knew about how I was feeling, because she had noticed something between us, so she was my confidant during that very emotional time of not knowing how Dannie felt), and my grandma of course didn't care, so to my great relief Dannie agreed to come- even said he hoped I'd invite him after he heard about it. That excited me to no end! 

It was that night, after supper and when all the kids and cousins were playing hide-and-seek in the dark that Dannie and I simply walked around and talked. It wasn't until then that he told me he had ended things with his girlfriend because things hadn't been working for a long time anyway. I felt as if my heart stopped in that moment, or at least my breath, and somehow I squeaked out an "Oh, I'm sorry." I don't know just how sorry I was, but I meant it nevertheless. He then proceeded to tell me that he was developing feelings for me, but it was too soon to rush headlong into something, and he wanted to give it some time, thought, and prayer before things could progress. Courtship was discussed a little bit, but nothing was said for certain, so at the end of the night when we said goodbye I felt relieved that he too had feelings for me, but also major uncertainty. I wish I could remember if he gave me a slight hug goodbye, but I'm fairly certain he didn't, because I seem to recall being disappointed about it. 

During those two weeks in Indiana, fraught with uncertainty, I kept a small diary that I continued to keep until we were wed. My first entry was an approach to convince myself that no matter what happened, God's will would be done. No matter what I wanted or hoped for, He would take care of things according to His purpose. I wrote this at the beginning, "At this point and time in my life I have no idea, what God's plans are for me, or if it even holds the promise of courtship in the near future. The only thing I can be absolutely certain of is God's promise of His love, mercy, and grace, and that He will work all things for my good (Rom. 8:28). These feelings that are bombarding me with questions, worries, and doubts are proving to be a big distraction, but my resolve must be firm, and my goal must be entirely Christ and His glory."

Immediately after Dannie left that night I ran up to my room in Mamaw Brown's house, completely elated and on cloud nine. I didn't care that nothing was promised, because that was all for the good to protect my heart. Mom came up after me, full of excited questions, and I tried to get the words out, but my mind and heart was too full. I explained that he was interested, and wanting there to be an us, but wanted to pray about it all first. As soon as Mom went back downstairs I got out my book and pen and wrote as fast as I could. I could barely make sense of the emotions bottled up inside, but I tried best to capture what I felt at the moment, and it was bliss.

(August 2015)

Then came December of the same year, just two months down the road. During those two months Dannie and I had talked quite a bit, just as friends, but with hopes of something more. So, Dannie's family came to visit with us for a week, and I had an inkling of why that was. On the eve of the very first day of their arrival Dannie and Daddy went back to his office and were in there a while, while the moms and us older girls fed everyone. I felt sick the entire time, knowing exactly what was going on all the while trying to pretend I didn't. I tried to keep busy, and I know I was barely smiling because I felt way too sick. It was just him asking to court me, so what was the big deal? I am so glad I didn't know exactly when Dannie asked for my hand in marriage or I would've been an absolute wreck. Of course Daddy said yes to Dannie and I starting a courtship, and I was sent back to the office for Dannie to ask me himself. Of course I agreed. I definitely agreed.

 (December 2011 // courtship beginnings)

(August 2015 // We saved our first kiss for our wedding day, 
but now we can kiss whenever we want, and that's pretty fun)

From then on we enjoyed 7 months of courtship, albeit hundreds of miles apart with him in Indiana and I in Georgia. It felt like 5 years at the time, but looking back it wasn't as bad as we thought. We wrote letters back and forth every chance we got, texted a little bit, and he called me practically every night. During those 7 months he was only able to visit once, and that was when he surprised me for Valentine's Day (February 2012). That Valentine's Day was the best ever, and we spend a very happy week together, going on walks, watching movies, long conversations of course, more chess, because anything, as long as we did it together, was wonderful. The week ended way too soon, and then he had to leave. But there was always the promise of seeing one another soon enough, because a move back to Indiana was in the works for the coming summer if we could find a house. Plus, we both had enough to keep us busy to pass the time away. We were both graduating that year, he was beginning his job full time, and I was helping with anything I could around the house, as well as reading lots and lots of books and helping Daddy in very small ways with his ministry. Before we knew it, it was time to start packing and planning. It was bittersweet saying goodbye to the South, but we had all of our family and friends in Indiana, along with the promise of many new and good things. Plus, at that time all I wanted was to be able to see Dannie more, so I shed fewer tears than I would've if he wasn't waiting on me in Indiana.

(Dannie gave this to me and I treasured like it was worth more than money)

(He also brought me my first roses when he surprised me for Valentine's Day)

The move went pretty smoothly because we had the kindest of friends help us transition in the loading and unloading (in a family of ten moving is never an easy task). I was so excited to see Dannie again, but things were kinda awkward between us at first for a little while. Because we were busy moving in and unpacking, I didn't see him very much at first. We arrived in Indiana July 3, 2012, and the very next day, after unloading everything into our new house, we went over to my Grandma Brown's for a cookout with all of our family, and Dannie came too. July 4th, 2012 was a very special night for me, because it was the first time that Dannie told me he loved me. Dumbfounded little me was too shocked to reply, and then everyone was leaving and we had to go (he didn't tell me until we had walked down to his truck and were saying goodbye), so then I barely had time to analyze what he'd just said. I felt like I was in a whirlwind full of happiness, but poor guy didn't know what I was thinking, and later on another day told me he was afraid I didn't love him in return. But oh I did. I already knew I loved him, but we'd never talked about that because we wanted to save it for something special, say like getting engaged. So that night, when he told me he loved me, I knew it wouldn't be long.

(August 2015)

And it wasn't long. It was July 13, 2012 that my family and I were supposed to go over to the Law's for supper. I prettied up of course, because I was going to see Dannie, but once we arrived and the family went outside, Dannie detained me saying how he had my birthday present to show me (my birthday was July 1, but we were still in Georgia, and he said he wanted to give it to me in person). He took me to the back of the house on the deck, and there was a canopy set up with a table for two, complete with our favorite songs, roses, and floating candles. He led me over to my seat, where he then picked up a wooden box that was sitting beside my plate. He got down on one knee, opened it, and in so many sweet words asked me to be his wife. I was giggling nervously the entire time, and the only thing I could say was a weak "yes." I had imagined that moment in my head so many times, and always I had a sweet reply ready, but in that moment all words flew out of my head. I was too happy to speak. Tears of joy slipped down my cheeks, as he proceeded to slip the ring on my finger. It was in that moment I knew without a doubt I would become Mrs. Dannie Law.

 (proposal)

Afterwards we went inside to show everyone (even though some of them were watching from a window). There was lots of congratulations, especially once the word got our to extended family and friends. We went back out to eat, but I was too excited to eat much. I was never more happy in my life.

(August 2015)

 (engagement // July 2012)

We set the date for October 20, 2012. The next 3 months flew by pretty quickly, we got the wedding planning done in record time (it was a very simple wedding), and spent as much time together as we could. We were young, we were in love, and we were happy. We both knew we didn't want to go to college, so it was our desire to marry as soon as possible. And we don't regret that choice one bit. Sometimes I wonder what could've happened if we'd waited longer, but that's just nonsense talking. It was our greatest desire to marry and start a family, so about after about five months of marriage we found out I was pregnant. Novemeber12, 2013 our precious baby girl was born, and we named her Evangeline Rose. She is the light of our life, and our pride and joy (even though she's going through her terrible two stage and is learning discipline).

 (October 20, 2012)

(August 2015)

Our life is no where near perfect. We fight a lot, but we've always fought a lot. We fought when we were babies, toddlers, little kids, teenagers, young and in love, engaged, and now married. I know that will never change, because we're both stubborn and hard-headed (and I'm not the turtle I used to be, so all my suppressed feelings come out way too often now). But you know what, as much as we drive each other crazy, we love each other, and we continue to choose to love each other, even when we really feel like we hate each other. That's true love, y'all. There will always be prettier people out there, but looks fade. There will always be smarter and stronger people, but strength and mind will fail.

(August 2015)

"My beloved is mine, and I am his." 

-Song of Solomon 2:16

(August 2015)

It's kind of hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that we've been married three years now. People have always told me that one day I'll look back and my life will be gone, but as a teenager time just didn't go fast enough, so I thought I had all the time in the world. Now, I look back on the past three years and can't believe those years are past. Yeah I know, three years isn't long at all, but soon it'll be five years, ten years, twenty years, fifty years that I'll be looking back, wondering what happened. Life is too precious and fleeting to waste, folks, so don't waste it. My little Eva will be two years old in a few weeks, and it was just yesterday she was born. It was just yesterday that I found out I was pregnant! Alas, time is fleeting.

Concerning me and Dannie, our story may not give you the warm and fuzzies, and I definitely didn't tell our story eloquently in the least, but my hope and prayer for our marriage is that we continue to press on through it all, because the bad times are pretty bad. There are some days we absolutely think we hate each other, and I feel like we fight worse than any other couple ever. And right now isn't exactly the best of times for us, because with only three years under our belt we're still in the learning stage of marriage (although, do we ever really grow out of it?) But even when I want to give up, I don't really. I want to make it 50+ years, because those are the marriages that have weathered through all of life's storms, and won. They are the marriages that show how two imperfect people can live together in love, and make it together no matter what. Those are the success stories, and I want mine to be one of them. We are by no means perfect, and we never will be, but we can be an example of a perfect God, who created marriage for our good, and to bring Him glory.

So here's to many more years. Many more years of fighting, because it's kind of inevitable with two very stubborn people. Many more years of learning and growing together. Many more years of fighting, but fighting to keep our love and marriage alive. Many more years of making memories that one day we'll cry over because they're so fond. Many more years of walking hand-in-hand, choosing to love each other, and making babies.

About a month or so ago I heard a country song on the radio that I'd never heard before, and I literally bawled. It's not a new song about nonsense or garbage, but rather more of an oldie by Alan Jackson. I don't usually like much country, but this song had me in tears, because through it all, this song accurately describes the beautiful love story I want. These are the lyrics, and it's a song that I want to be played when we've had 50 years together, and when we're close to death. Excuse me while I go bawl some more.

Remember when I was young and so were you
And time stood still and love was all we knew
You were the first, so was I
We made love and then you cried
Remember when

Remember when we vowed the vows and walked the walk
Gave our hearts, made the start and it was hard
We lived and learned, life threw curves
There was joy, there was hurt
Remember when

Remember when old ones died and new were born
And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged
We came together, fell apart
And broke each other's hearts
Remember when

Remember when the sound of little feet was the music
We danced to week to week
Brought back the love, we found trust
Vowed we'd never give it up
Remember when

Remember when thirty seemed so old
Now lookin' back, it's just a steppin' stone
To where we are, where we've been
Said we'd do it all again
Remember when

Remember when we said when we turned gray
When the children grow up and move away
We won't be sad, we'll be glad
For all the life we've had
And we'll remember when

(October 2015)

Personal: Last Days of Summer // September & October 2015

September and what little bit of October we've had already has been busy and full of things I didn't really expect. In the past month or two I've been dealing with some stomach issues, so all things insurance and doctors and tests has been pretty frustrating, especially when nothing has been figured out as of yet. So for now I'm just trying to be patient, and getting very bored with a very bland and limited diet (and when I cheat I really regret it, but gee whiz, I miss eating regular food!).

The weather is beautiful now, with cooler temps in the early morning and later evening, and warmer weather during the day. We've had a couple of days that really felt like Fall, but then just a couple of days ago the temperature reached 80 degrees (c'mon, 80 degrees in October?!). This time of year is without a doubt my favorite of all seasons. Of course, there's something about the beginning of Spring after a long winter, the beginning of Summer after a rainy Spring, and who doesn't love Christmas? But Fall is my favorite. It's the kind of weather I wish were all year round, but that might get kind of boring after too long.

Dannie and I took Eva to Anderson Orchard a couple of weeks back, and she was thrilled to play with and pick some "popples." Because she's my daughter, she wasn't too cooperative when I wanted to take a few pictures, so I just got what I could. Hopefully sometime soon we'll go back to get some family pictures. Then, the other day I took her to our local park in Franklin just to get some energy out, especially after being cooped up in the house all day, and to let her play in some of the first fallen leaves of the season that were in our area.

Eva's such an adventurous little person, and I'm hard pressed to keep up with her, but I love getting to capture all these precious moments in her life, before they're long gone. She's going to be two in a month, and I can't believe how fast time has gone. She's still my little baby, but she's a toddler now, with a mind of her own and a very independent spirit. I miss her newborn stage, but this age she's going through right now is so much fun as she's constantly learning and growing, and finally starting to say a lot more words. Her favorite movie is Strawberry Shortcake, so she'll bring it to me and say, "Cake! Cake! Turn on!" Which of course melts my heart. She can pronounce the "ck" sound so well, and in her wee voice it's the cutest thing when she says "pockle" (pickle) and "nack" (snack). She tries my patience practically every day, however, but hopefully it's just this "terrible two" stage she's going through. And no matter how bad she acts, or how much discipline she gets, she sure knows how to melt my heart with her hugs and kisses and "yu you" (love you).

Goodness, I love my little sweetheart, no matter what. I know all the troublesome times are more than worth it, because there's no greater joy than being a parent. And seriously, I know I'm biased, but Eva is just so stinkin' cute! Look no further than this post for proof.